Hey guys! How is everyone doing?
So my below post about dealing to much made me think on alot of other things about this.
I know what I talked about with my ex and it started to make sense. Alot of sense.
There are mistakes by my end that are easily changeable and thats what I wanted to do.
I have changed and my life started to kick in. But my ex is trying to keep a reason to stay away from me and staying with her other bf.
But the reasons that point on my end seems like "Love" isn't for her. I know I have problems thinking on stuff but that has changed. I know I don't have a car or a place yet which I am working on. My ex is a fast pace relationship type person. So its like a ticking time with me if I can't get it, I can't have her.
That is not love. That is a one sided relationship and it feels I am the only one that really actually loves her, but I also realized. Did she even really loved me?
Why would I be with someone that acts this way? She is with her new man just because he is doing the same thing I did but has other things she wants. This really is not a relationship, just a "take care of me, type".
Here's the thing. I have took care of her but I took care of her and meant it with my heart and soul and she ran off.
How I see it. Love would of been, sticking together, finding a place together, both having jobs, getting a car, having whatever else. Staying with one another for life. Of course if it "really" wasn't meant to be then thats a different story. But of course this story is based on that.
Love = REAL heart meaning love. Something I have. Thats what I was really trying to say.
I have been depressed and still am but just alittle bit now. I have come to realize these things from my ex that really its not ALL my fault. But seems like the one for me wasn't really the one for me and I guess god wanted me to see what she was.
I think I finally understand him and why he kept me away from her and still is keeping me away from her right now.
It feels like he is saying, "I deserve a better women", but I have no clue who that will be and we will find out at some point in my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment